sit and listen
toes just touching
coloured light falling
across your little knees
now on the ground
little knees…..
up
kneel
sit
stand
sing
down
knees
eyes closed
open
day by day
word by word
you are tied to Him
you are cloaked in His magic
bored until broken
left hand heavy
right hand floating free
they feed you concepts
and His body
they spoon you visions
and His blood
they marry you to martyrdom
tugging away at your thickening thread of misunderstanding
until small and wishing
you take over the litany
and begin to seek burning fingers of your own
desperate to bleed
for Him
charred scars
winding tighter
soft skin stinging
you yearn for the searing pleasures of sacrifice
you are chastised
whipped
held under water
you are braced against marble
shoulders crushed by shuffling women hidden in dark tents
they thrust you forward into hot boxes that stink of wood and cock
faceless men reel sins from your lips
securing you
touching places in you that long for an upturned mouth
a nod from the God head
my father
because of this love my father didn’t look at me
my father wouldn’t touch me
but Father Tom could….
father tom
the inflictors
kiss you
the inflictors
offer you
the inflictors
pray for you
confuse you
want you
suppress you
compress you
a glowing sinker
a heavy hot fuck
rapid
powerful
spinning
in your body
forcing through the narrow channels of your humanity
desperate for release from His invisible grip…..
I AM
holding on to the end of the line with my sweet ripping mouth
screaming his name
gasping on the hook
just in case
just in case
just in case
it
was
all
true
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